Pondering thoughts about the future

Late last week, I was at the mall running an errand. I had about 2 1/2 hours to kill before I had to return to campus, so I sat in my car. As I waited, I saw this fairly young woman (in her early 30's) taking a stroller out of her car. She had what looked like her 4-5 month old daughter with her. She paid precise caution to assembling the stroller and then placing her child in it. Just one vehicle away from her, I noticed her struggle a little bit, but at the same time she kept her cool and what I saw was this nurturing mother.

After observing this woman with her baby, I began to ask myself, "Will I ever get to a point in my life where I'll become a mother?" I'll be honest. I've always told my mother that she may not be getting anymore grandchildren on top of the 3 she already has. A part of me believed that maybe it wasn't "in the cards" for me to become a mother. The other part of me believed that I would find "Mr. Right", get married, and possibly have children and we'd bring them up in this "crazy" world together.

My thoughts bring me back to the last time I visited my family in So Cal. I was holding my (second) cousin's 8 month old daughter and enjoyed playing with her and touching her chubby, little arms and cheeks. But then I started thinking about her future. What is she going to be like when she becomes a teenager? Will she start rebelling because of peer pressure or will she be this studious adolescent who listens to her parents? I know that having children is a BIG responsibility and it's very hard work, but I do hear that the rewards are great.

Yesterday, I happened to be in the art supply aisle at Wal-Mart when I heard this familiar voice. It was my ex co-worker, Mari, who I hadn't seen since April. We were chatting away and as I asked her 7 year old daughter a question, Mari's 7 month old son just kept staring at me. I started making faces at him & went right for touching his cheeks! He would just smile and wouldn't give up staring at me. I told her that I wish I had the same "animal" magnetism on older guys as I did with the younger ones! ;)

So with all these babies that have crossed my path lately, is this some sort of sign? Is my biological ticking? It's hard to say. I know that God has a plan for everyone and if I'm meant to be a wife and mother, then so be it. Otherwise, I'll continue living as a content, single woman.