Frustrated with School

There's an old saying that goes like this: "If it isn't one thing it's another." This couldn't be more truthful. You see, I just recently applied to the university for which I'm hoping I'll be accepted in to for fall 2013. However, every time I set foot in to my class where my instructor advices all of his students on the application process, etc., I continue to grow very skeptical and nervous over the latest updates on what it now takes to get accepted in to higher education.

I submitted my online application to the university about two weeks ago and will likely not find out if I was accepted until around March 2013. To make matters worst, I just experienced a major (well, at least to me it is) setback.

There's another saying that goes, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." On November 15, I had a meeting with my math instructor. Just before class had ended about an hour earlier, he handed us back our 2nd exam, which we had all taken the week prior. I didn't do very well on this test. I met with my instructor immediately after class and he recommended that I drop the course and try again next semester. This was technically supposed to be my last semester and next semester was going to be reserved for taking one class for my major and one elective course. Well, that's all changed now because I will have to re-take math again in January. :-(

Honestly, I wish I had the brain for all college-levels of math. Instead, I ended up with the English gene. I've put in many countless hours doing homework, getting one-on-one tutoring every week and going to both math tutorial centers, four days a week, to get assistance. Unfortunately, all the hard work hasn't paid off yet. :-(

After having spoken to my instructor and after having cried for a little bit, I composed myself. I then called my guidance counselor's office to see if I could make an appointment to see her before I register for spring classes, which is in two weeks. Unfortunately, she had nothing available until the day before I register, so I decided I was going to go to drop-in counseling the following day. In the meantime, I headed over to the math tutorial and attempted to work on my math homework. However, during the entire time I was there, all I could think about was how I failed terribly. :-(

The next morning, I drove to school and met with a guidance counselor. I discussed with her what my instructor had recommended and I asked her if it was better to drop the course altogether or should I remain in the class and accept the grade I was going to receive. The counselor agreed with my instructor in that I should drop this course, which I ended up dropping on Friday.

This is NOT what I had intended to happen. I really wanted to pass this course THIS semester! I know that I'm not a good test taker and I have a really hard time remembering certain concepts. While I felt that the lectures in this class moved at a quicker pace, my brain was still behind and still trying to figure out what I was taught during the previous lecture! UGH!!

Next semester, I will start new, hoping this time that I will pass my math course. I'm so ready to move on with my life and be done with this school! 

Airing Out My Frustrations

I try not to let too many things bother me these days. I've been trying to stay positive in hoping that things around me will get better. It's just a matter of being patient and letting things run their course, which are beyond my control. Well, today everything happened all at once.

Today was my last day meeting one-on-one with my (Advanced) Algebra tutor. This was my second semester having him as my tutor and he's been the most patient person I know. Well, today I just could not understand one problem he was trying to help me solve. It seemed like a very easy problem, but there were some steps I had missed, so part of the problem was wrong. At one point I told him that I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like I was wasting his time. Needless to say, I didn't finish or solve the rest of the problem and worked on a few other problems after that, which I was able to understand.

No matter how hard I try to comprehend every lesson and/or every section in my math class, I feel like I have this block in my brain and that I'm always behind in trying to figure out how to understand what's being taught to me. :(

After feeling so frustrated, I also started thinking about my employment situation. :( I've struggled for the last two years in trying to find work. I recently started a freelance writing job, but freelancing isn't stable or long-term. So when I thought that things couldn't get any better, I come home to find an email from the editor at the freelancing job. She said she's going to have a writer's position available beginning June 1st and wanted to know if I'd be interested in speaking with her about it. I emailed her back and told her 'yes,' I'm interested.

One of my journalism classmates, who currently works as a writer for the same company, recently told me that his job is full-time and leaves him with little time for anything else. I plan on meeting with the editor to discuss the position SOON and when I do, I plan on finding out all the details about the job because finishing my education is very important to me, as is finding stable employment in what I enjoy doing.

This is going to be a difficult decision for me to make. Why can't I just win the lottery and not have to worry about any of this? ;-)

I'm the best candidate for the job!

About a week ago, I e-mailed a query to a local publication, which I've enjoyed reading over the years. In fact, a former employer of mine used to subscribe to this publication, so when I picked up the mail, I couldn't help but read it. So the Editor of this publication replied to my query e-mail & stated that the story I submitted could be a possibility for the May '08 issue. Boy, was I shocked! Finally, a possible "Yes"! She then proceeded to ask me for clips of stories I've written. I told her that I didn't have any clips because the only writing I've ever done is for my college English class. I went ahead and sent her a copy of two stories I had written, which I considered some of my best work. I went on to explain to her that I am a new writer [my instructor didn't want myself or my classmates to come off as 'students' in our queries] and that I didn't have any clips I could send her.

A day later, I received another response from the Editor. She told me to send her a rough draft of my story and that we'd go from there. She also added that the company is looking to hire an Assistant Editor & that I should take a look at the job description she had sent me and see if this would be something I'd be interested in. Is this a sign from God or what?! About two months ago, I had every intention of applying for an internship with this publication when I saw an ad in one of their issues, but I never had time to send off my résumé. Well, the opportunity finally arose last Friday when I e-mailed her my cover letter & résumé.

Well, it's been four days now and I still haven't heard from her. I hope she didn't think I was overqualified for the position. Also, I seem to read a lot into things and think that because I don't have certain qualifications--the job is requiring a degree in a related field--that maybe she's taking into account all of this. :( I've never been formally trained; however, at a very young age, I found that the English language and anything related to Journalism were my strong points. Even the career tests I took in college pointed me in the direction of Journalism! In fact, whenever I found myself in a work or school setting, my colleagues or classmates would often come to me for help because they knew I excelled in writing, proofreading, and editing. I know that everything can be learned while on-the-job, but does she [the Editor] want to hire someone who has a degree--which I'm working towards now--or has YEARS of experience?

I've relentlessly been working on the story I'm writing so I can have my instructor/adviser look at. Then the next step is to send it off as a rough draft to the Editor. In the meantime, I've got like 4 other school projects that I'm working on--with due dates looming--and an exam I'm not ready for--again--on Tuesday. :(

I'm going to let one more day pass and if I don't hear back from the Editor, I am going to e-mail her again because I am VERY interested in this job and I definitely think I'm the best candidate! :)