Last week was not a great week for me and my family. Last Monday was my brother's birthday and I'm grateful he's been on the road to recovery since April. He went back to work in May and seems to be doing fine. I just continue to pray that he takes good care of his health and that he doesn't have to go through another setback.
My parents 53rd wedding anniversary was last Thursday and it was overshadowed by my (first) cousin's death, which occurred the day before. :( I still can't believe that my cousin "T" is gone and that I won't ever get to see or talk to her ever again. She had a major presence within her family. Whenever she'd get riled up, she would talk very loud, but she was awesome! "T" and her older sister (by four years) "C"were always inseperable! They used to pretty much do everything together. "C" is the mother of three daughters and "T" was the mother of three sons. Many years ago, my brother started teasing our cousins "C" and "T" because they were born with very curly hair---thanks in part to their mother (my aunt). If you didn't know them, you might think they wore wigs. Anyway, my brother used to tease them--mostly "T"--and would refer to the sisters as "Las Pelucas" (which translates to "The Wigs" in English). Whenever my brother would say this to "T," she would start to badmouth my brother, but in a joking and loving way. I'm going to MISS my cousin. My family and I, minus my brother and nephew, will be attending my cousin's funeral this week. It will be nice to see my cousins, uncles, etc. again, but I wish it was under better circumstances. :-(
On Saturday, I met up with an old friend, "J," from high school to attend a local beer festival. She was two grades ahead of me and we used to constantly hang out together when she moved back to the area we grew up (she actually grew up in neighboring town) in about 10 years ago. Probably within the last 2 or 3 years, "J" and I hadn't been hanging out as much because I've been super busy with school and work, and she's been busy with work and church-related functions.
My friend "J" and I met up with her cousin, her cousin's hubby and one of "J's" high school classmates. Within 20 minutes of going in to the festival, I ran into my Zumba instructor, who was there with her hubby. We talked for a little bit and I found out my instructor's mother-in-law is from the same town as my parents. Small world! Just before I started chatting with my instructor and before "J" started talking to someone she knew who was just a few feet away, "J" and I spotted "Mr. Cutie," who I used to have a crush on around 3 years ago. "J" remembered who he was and admitted to me that he was kind of cute! The last three years that I've been attending this festival, he has been there with friends. This time around I saw him with a male friend, and they would part ways every now and then.
I'll be honest, when I caught a glimpse of "Mr. Cutie" at Saturday's event, my heart raced a beat per second! Is it possible to still have feelings for someone you've never talked to? Ugh!! At the moment that I was talking to my Zumba instructor, I nonchalantly looked over "Mr. Cutie's" way and I know he looked over my way once or twice and probably thought, "She looks familiar." Anyway, whenever I caught myself in a conversation with someone at the festival, my radar always seemed to be on the lookout for him. At one point, "J" and I were walking to get some more beer, and I was within arm's reach of "Mr. Cutie." I could've accidentally bumped in to him at that point, but I believe he was talking to some short-haired, tall blonde woman. Bleh! ;-) From what I gather, "Mr. Cutie" is (still) single, but I'm sure he has a type.
Living in a small town you'd think I'd run into "Mr. Cutie." Well, I haven't...well, not prior to Saturday. The last time I actually "saw" him was when I was driving north through town a few weeks ago and he was driving south. We normally don't run in the same circles or we don't ever cross paths unless it's some sort of function in town. Maybe I'll run into him again at another local function or at one of the restaurants.
After attending the beer festival, I can honestly say that whenever I feel in the mood to drink another alcoholic beverage, my drinks of choice will either be water, wine or a mixed beverage--preferably with vodka! ;-)
Monday, September 10, 2012
An unsettling week & revisiting old feelings
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Sad day :-(
Last night as I was getting ready to go to bed, I started crying again. I knew something was wrong with my 51-year-old cousin "T," who had been suffering with liver cancer for about a year or less. I had spoken to my mom about my cousin and she said that she had spoken with "T's" older sister, who said that "T" was saying her good-byes to her closest family members and was talking about her deceased mother and deceased younger brother. "T's" older sister took that as a sign that her life was coming to an end.
I'm still numb at the fact that within a year's time, I've lost a 3rd family member. :-( I'm also saddened that this is the 4th relative of mine to be stricken with cancer; of those 4, only 1 has survived. At this point in my life, I don't ever want to say or hear the word "cancer" ever again!
A word of advice: don't ever take your health for granted. If you're feeling symptoms or noticing something different concerning your health, make an appointment with your doctor and have yourself checked immediately...before it's too late.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Back to School...and some prayers needed
This week I started back at school again. I'm taking two classes this semester, except the second one is a short-term course and doesn't begin until October, where as the other class I'm taking currently is math, aka Statistics, aka my "enemy."
Recently, a few people had asked me what class I was going to be taking in the fall and I mentioned the Statistics class. The comments I got were not at all comforting. Some told me that it was a hard class, while others said that they wished they would've taken another class. Last Thursday, I had a one-on-one conversation with my instructor and told him that since junior high, math has never been my best subject. He did tell me that this class is a lot different than the Algebra class I took with him two semesters ago. I'm just praying that I pass it because it's the last class I need to take so that I can transfer next fall.
This semester, I intend to get one-on-one tutoring (again) and will be doing drop-in tutoring whenever I need help. I just finished the first two homework assignments earlier this week and I didn't find them to be too hard. However, I know I need to work on memorizing the vocabulary in my book. I'm crossing my fingers and intending that everything goes well.
In other news, today I found out that my cousin "T," who's 50, is not doing so well. My mother had a conversation with her older brother today and he told my mother that his sister has liver cancer. We knew she was sick with cancer, but we didn't know to what extent. Her brother said that her cancer is advanced and is currently seeking another opinion, in San Diego. She lives about two hours northeast from San Diego and the doctors there don't seem to be doing much for her in her hometown. Then again, it seems that there's not much more they can do on their end since her cancer is so advanced. :(
I'm still holding out and praying that my cousin gets well. However, I'm just dreading the day when my mom gets THE call from one of her nieces or nephews telling her that my cousin didn't survive. My family has already gone through two deaths within the last year and I'm not sure how much more we can take.
Life isn't fair, especially when you have a loved one who is ill and there's nothing you can do about it. Word of advice: get yourself tested when you're supposed to and/or seek out the proper medical attention before it's too late and spend as much time as you can with
your family before it's too late.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
My Late High School Reunion
My high school reunion occurred two weeks ago and all I can say is that it went off without a hitch! Ok, actually there was one tiny hitch and one tiny piece of drama, which I'll reveal a little later.
I had an appointment like 1.5 hours before my friend "C" was to have arrived at my place. The people I was with asked if I was excited to be attending my reunion and I told them that I'm not the type of person to show a lot of excitement. I just told them, "We'll see how it goes."
My friend arrived to pick me up and we headed towards the country to a winery we had never been to before, which is on the border of the town we grew up in and the next small town over. As we approached our destination, I could tell that there weren't very many cars in the parking lot. As we made our way up the stairs, we approached a table where one of our classmates was and I picked up my name tag, which had my senior grad photo on it, in black and white. I then helped my friend look for her name tag when I noticed the name tag of a few others who I knew for sure were coming. Then as I looked down again, I saw the name of one particular male classmate...the one who I had a small crush on. OMG..."G" is coming! What am I going to do? What am I going to say?
As we made our way into the courtyard, all we see are these beautiful vineyards in front of us! I mean, they were picturesque and I now wish I would've taken more photos of our view. :( About 5 or 10 minutes later, my friend 'H' texts me and my cousin 'M' texts me to tell me they're on their way. Within 15 minutes or so, I see this tall, good-looking, muscular guy walk in with his BFF since childhood, who also graduated with us. It's "G," my former-not-so-former crush! I whisper to my good friends "C" and "I" that he's here and all they do is smile.
So for the most part, the seven of us--including two spouses of two of my classmates--stood by this one table talking to each other and during the entire time, I tried sneaking several glances towards "G." He was surrounded by his BFF and two other classmates, including one female. But then at another point, another female classmate stood next to him talking his ear off for probably 30 minutes and then the next thing I know is that I think he might've been alone for a brief second! UGH...THAT should've clearly been my cue or opportunity to go talk to him, but I blew my chance! :(
You don't know how many times I wanted to approach him and talk to him. Growing up, from elementary through high school, we never had a class together. We knew of each other, but never once had a conversation of any kind. Ok, so maybe I said one word to him during the first day of 11th grade. I walked into the multipurpose room to go pick up my schedule while some of our class officers or classmates affiliated with student government were helping distribute class schedules. He was standing at the table where my schedule was, so I picked my schedule up and probably muttered something like, "Hi" or "Thanks."
"G" was a guy who I could never figure out. I always wondered, "Is he stuck up or just shy?"I asked my friend "H" the same question a few years back and she couldn't answer the question either. He used to hang out with the booksmart/smarties (I'll dub him 'Mr. Smartie' here), some of the jocks and the so-called popular "in-crowd." Unfortunately (and thankfully), I was never part of that crowd. I "beat to my own drum" and wasn't a follower. When I was younger, I also thought that I was way out of his league. Yes, I literally felt like Molly Ringwald's character in "Sixteen Candles" and "Pretty in Pink"! My most vivid memories of him were that he was a nice, sweet, neutral-somewhat-preppyish guy, who probably made friends with everyone. So how come we were never friends then? Simple. I was too shy and self-conscious about talking to guys who I thought were super cute and who I thought I never had a chance with.
Now that we're a lot older, I seem to think that he and I have very similar qualities. When he had his FB account (he deleted it last fall), I could tell he has always been close to his family and childhood friends, as have I. Another uncanny irony is that we were both born on the same day, except I'm exactly 7 months older than him. Ok, I guess I always did have a thing for 'younger' men! ;-)
I think my whole point to this is that while I was at the reunion, I felt the same awkwardness I felt when I was back in high school. I mean, I had no problem being around my close group of friends or my cousin, who was a jock back in the day, but also hung out with many of the same people that 'G' did, aka the "in-crowd." Anyway, while I was there, I still sort of felt like I was being excluded in some way.
During the reunion, I went up to a few people and chatted with them, and they came up to me as well. What I also noticed was that most people were going up to "G." I don't think I remember seeing him approach anyone. To my surprise, he and his BFF left early, about 1.5-2 hours before our reunion was scheduled to end. I clearly thought they'd stay until the end. Oh well. There went my last chance to talk to "G" and I blew it, again! :( Or did I? More about this later in this blog.
Back to the reunion: only 33 of us attended and we had a graduating class of close to 250! And during our last reunion, we had about 65 show up. This time around, one classmate told me that she thinks many people didn't attend this reunion because the word didn't get out sooner. Yes, we had a FB reunion page and other classmates invited others to join, but it seems that some people just couldn't make it because they already had other plans, or they couldn't afford to go because they now have families or they honestly just didn't want to go.
The one thing I'll say, once again, is that our class wasn't organized...never was and some things haven't changed! I think it's unfortunate that the organizer waited until about a month before the reunion date to let classmates know how much the tickets were going to cost, etc. I think she finally spoke up and sent everyone the link because other classmates were complaining on FB if our reunion was going to happen or not. A few other classmates mentioned to me that this reunion should have been planned at least a year in advance!
Oh yeah, and what kind of reunion would it be if there wasn't any drama? ;-) At one point, I went to go sit down with two of my friends and I noticed another classmate dancing with two other classmates. I thought to myself, "Oh, she decided to come after all." Probably about 15 minutes later, my cousin comes up to me and tells me that this classmate, the one who showed up late and who had been dancing, was escorted out of the winery because the organizer didn't want her there. This was the same classmate the organizer had some 'beef' with back in school and obviously still had the same feelings towards her recently. I don't know what the problem was between those two, but I think it's time for them to grow up!
In all honestly, I still can't kick this feeling that I'm still attracted to "G" after all this time. I felt bad that I didn't talk to him at the reunion, so about three days later I emailed him. A week went by and I thought, "Ok, I'm never going to hear from him because I emailed him last summer and he didn't respond." So about three days ago, I see this email in my "inbox," which I thought was from my editor, but when I looked closer, it was from him! Because I was so busy with work and trying to finish two tasks by Friday's deadline, I didn't open the email until two days ago. What's funny is that the entire day I was stressing out and feeling nervous was the same day I opened his email. However, it was also because I was trying to make my work deadline, but I was also worried as to what he replied.
What I basically told him in the email was that I hoped he didn't think I was stuck up because I didn't go talk to him. I also said that I'm not sure why we never spoke to each other while we attended all the same schools together, but that I always knew he was a nice, sweet guy. And yes, I mentioned the small crush I had on him. His response was really nice, which actually made me feel a lot better after my stressful day. :)
He apologized for not emailing me back sooner because he had been busy visiting family and friends out here on the West Coast before he returned to the East Coast. He thanked me for sending him a copy of the hilarious slideshow that was played at our reunion, which he and his BFF missed seeing. He also thanked me for the kind words I said in the email and said that he didn't think I was or am stuck up. The final thing he said was that it was too bad we weren't able to catch up, but that hopefully our paths would cross again.
I'm a realist, so I'm not holding my breath or expecting anything to happen between us, but I'm grateful that I finally got the nerve--even if it was through email--to tell him how I felt. I don't have many guy friends, so it'd be cool to finally have him as a real friend since I've "known" him for many years. And who knows, maybe we'll finally be able to catch up when I travel back east to visit my friend "S," which will hopefully (*keeping my fingers crossed*) be next spring. :-)
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
The Monkees to reunite for a 12-city tour!
The Monkees are coming!!!! YAY!!! I guess since my birthday falls during the week of Thanksgiving, I'll be treating myself to an early birthday present...or two!
And thank you to Michael (Mike) Nesmith for spilling the beans twice in two days! :-)
To read more about The Monkees upcoming tour in November, click here.
To read Michael Nesmith's new Q&A with Rolling Stone magazine (YES, the same magazine who has NOT inducted The Monkees in to the Roll and Roll Hall of Fame), click here.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
A possible Monkees reunion in the works
Could the rumors be true? I saw the above photo floating around The Monkees's official Facebook page today. In addition, Michael "Mike" Nesmith may have already spilled the beans when he posted the following message on his FB page this morning: "We may be coming to your town."
As much as I'm anticipating reading the official announcement, which is coming tomorrow, I'm a little sad that this is happening because of the passing of front man Davy Jones.
I would have loved to have seen all four Monkees perform together! I missed out when Mike joined the other three guys on stage during their 20th anniversary tour stop at the Greek Theatre in L.A. in 1986. I finally had the opportunity to see Davy, Micky and Peter perform in 2001 in San Francisco, Davy and Micky in 2002 and finally Davy, Micky and Peter in July 2011 in Saratoga--where I got to meet all three and take photos with each of them. A dream come true for me!
If Micky, Peter and Mike end up reuniting this year or in 2013 for a U.S. tour as a tribute to Davy, then I'm all for going! I just hope they don't schedule a concert date near my area during a week night because I have school and I really need to pass this (last) class! :-)
*Note, as of 12:30 a.m., Aug. 8: Well, a happy early birthday (it's in Nov.) to me is in order because Mike Nesmith just posted on his FB that he, Micky and Peter will be performing 12 concert dates in Nov. in the U.S. YIPEE!!! Now I'm just praying one of those dates is in Calif. and near my area. :-)
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