Flashback Friday

Finally...it's Friday!!

Here's a band of musical brothers from Utah, who were very popular in the 1970's. You might recognize the cute, younger brother singing lead...Donny. :-)

Music Monday

Here's a tune by one of the greatest bands from Dublin, Ireland: U2.

News Recap

I've been so busy with school, work and life that I haven't had much time to blog until now. Here's a breakdown of what's been happening in my life in the last month.

On Sept. 12, my parents, niece and I drove 10.5 hours to Southern California to attend my cousin "T's" rosary. We left at 4:30 a.m. and didn't arrive until about 3:20 p.m. Needless to say, we were all tired and sleepy, but we had to arrive at my other cousin's ("T's" sister) place and rest for a little bit until it was time to attend the rosary at 7 p.m. The next day, most of my cousins--minus a few and my two siblings, who couldn't make it--gathered to say our final goodbyes to my cousin. Although the reason we were all there wasn't pleasant, it was good that we were able to visit with my mother's relatives since we don't get to see them very often.

Recently, I've sought therapy for some issues that have plagued me since childhood. I won't go into details, but I'm hoping it helps me overcome some of the things I've dealt with throughout my life.

Men. What can I say about them except they're from Mars. ;-) Honestly, I'm coming to a point in my life where I really want to make some new, permanent changes, including "throwing in the towel" to feelings I've had for someone who I know will never like me back. It is what it is and I can't make a person like me nor will I beg someone for that matter. My motto is, "What you see is what you get." If the other person doesn't like the qualities I have to offer, then he's missing out. I am no longer going to waste my time and effort. As I've said before, if I'm meant to be in a relationship, then so be it. And if it doesn't happen, then I'll learn to accept whatever God has planned for me. Anyway, I'm going to continue focusing on what's more important to me right now and that's completing my studies.

School is going smoothly. I've been spending a lot of time on-campus, either working on my math homework or seeking extra help at the math tutorial center. I didn't do well on my first exam and I'm striving to get a better grade on my 2nd test. School is over in about 9 weeks and I'm intending I pass this class so I can concentrate on taking classes for my major.

Since returning to school in August, I recently had to cut back on my freelancing job with the organization I've been working with. However, the amount of work I'm doing now for them isn't helping me pay my bills, which means that I am now looking for a new job...one that's flexible, stable, permanent and with better pay. However, I get really discouraged when I receive rejection from a company or an organization because I know they're thinking that I'm overqualified for their position. Instead of "judging a book by its cover," they should allow me to interview first before they judge me based on my background or experience. I mean, why do they post the open position and then not give interested job seekers the opportunity to interview AFTER all the effort he/she has gone into contacting them and sending them his/her resume? This is what frustrates me the most. :(

On Oct. 13, I received something in the mail, which I've been working on for the past seven years: my Associate degree! What took me by surprise was the word located just underneath my name, which was 'Honors.' :-) Anyway, about two weeks ago, I had an appointment with my guidance counselor to discuss the college application I need to fill out before the end of November. She started reviewing all the courses I've taken at the college and told me that as of this past May, I completed all the requirements needed for my Associate degree! Another piece of good news she gave me: since I passed my previous math course in May, I don't have to take the competency exam after all. This last bit of news was such a relief! Now it's just a matter of going through graduation ceremonies next May and passing this final math course (i.e. Stats) in December so that I can finally transfer to the university in August 2013! A final anecdote: my counselor told me that I need to take one more Journalism class, which I could very well take at the university, but she recommended I take it in the spring. So much for getting a real break from school next semester! Well, the good thing about this class is that I know the instructor very well and I'm certain she'll be happy to see me in her class again. :)

I was recently asked by a relative what I was going to do for my birthday, which is in a month. I told her that I wasn't going to do anything. You see, I'm celebrating a "milestone" birthday this year and my cousin's older siblings (they're twins) had a party for their "milestone" b-day last year. However, there's a big difference in how they celebrate and in how I celebrate, which I might discuss here someday. Anyway, I initially wanted to do some fun activity with a few of my closest friends, but I don't think I can afford to do so right now. I think I might just go out to dinner with my family and possibly with some close friends since most of them will be around for the Thanksgiving holiday.

Lastly, I recently received an email from my editor. She commented on the unique events I email her every week for the two calendars I'm responsible for. She also asked if I planned to continue writing after the semester was over or if I was done with writing altogether. I'm in the process of replying to her. I honestly and seriously can't be making "chump" change for all that I do. This part-time job has been a blessing and a headache at the same time. Although I'd like to continue contributing, I'd like to get some more experience in doing other things involving writing. However, those opportunities haven't risen lately. Also, with how the economy is right now, I need a job, but I also need a better income so that I can pay the bills and do some fun things in the future, including taking a trip or two on my bucket list. Besides, I really need something to look forward to after all the stress from school and work.

Music

I can't recall if I've posted this video before, but this song is one of my favorites! :-)

An unsettling week & revisiting old feelings

Last week was not a great week for me and my family. Last Monday was my brother's birthday and I'm grateful he's been on the road to recovery since April. He went back to work in May and seems to be doing fine. I just continue to pray that he takes good care of his health and that he doesn't have to go through another setback.

My parents 53rd wedding anniversary was last Thursday and it was overshadowed by my (first) cousin's death, which occurred the day before. :( I still can't believe that my cousin "T" is gone and that I won't ever get to see or talk to her ever again. She had a major presence within her family. Whenever she'd get riled up, she would talk very loud, but she was awesome! "T" and her older sister (by four years) "C"were always inseperable! They used to pretty much do everything together. "C" is the mother of three daughters and "T" was the mother of three sons. Many years ago, my brother started teasing our cousins "C" and "T" because they were born with very curly hair---thanks in part to their mother (my aunt). If you didn't know them, you might think they wore wigs. Anyway, my brother used to tease them--mostly "T"--and would refer to the sisters as "Las Pelucas" (which translates to "The Wigs" in English). Whenever my brother would say this to "T," she would start to badmouth my brother, but in a joking and loving way. I'm going to MISS my cousin. My family and I, minus my brother and nephew, will be attending my cousin's funeral this week. It will be nice to see my cousins, uncles, etc. again, but I wish it was under better circumstances. :-(

On Saturday, I met up with an old friend, "J," from high school to attend a local beer festival. She was two grades ahead of me and we used to constantly hang out together when she moved back to the area we grew up (she actually grew up in neighboring town) in about 10 years ago. Probably within the last 2 or 3 years, "J" and I hadn't been hanging out as much because I've been super busy with school and work, and she's been busy with work and church-related functions.

My friend "J" and I met up with her cousin, her cousin's hubby and one of "J's" high school classmates. Within 20 minutes of going in to the festival, I ran into my Zumba instructor, who was there with her hubby. We talked for a little bit and I found out my instructor's mother-in-law is from the same town as my parents. Small world! Just before I started chatting with my instructor and before "J" started talking to someone she knew who was just a few feet away, "J" and I spotted "Mr. Cutie," who I used to have a crush on around 3 years ago. "J" remembered who he was and admitted to me that he was kind of cute! The last three years that I've been attending this festival, he has been there with friends. This time around I saw him with a male friend, and they would part ways every now and then.

I'll be honest, when I caught a glimpse of "Mr. Cutie" at Saturday's event, my heart raced a beat per second! Is it possible to still have feelings for someone you've never talked to? Ugh!! At the moment that I was talking to my Zumba instructor, I nonchalantly looked over "Mr. Cutie's" way and I know he looked over my way once or twice and probably thought, "She looks familiar." Anyway, whenever I caught myself in a conversation with someone at the festival, my radar always seemed to be on the lookout for him. At one point, "J" and I were walking to get some more beer, and I was within arm's reach of "Mr. Cutie." I could've accidentally bumped in to him at that point, but I believe he was talking to some short-haired, tall blonde woman. Bleh! ;-) From what I gather, "Mr. Cutie" is (still) single, but I'm sure he has a type.

Living in a small town you'd think I'd run into "Mr. Cutie." Well, I haven't...well, not prior to Saturday. The last time I actually "saw" him was when I was driving north through town a few weeks ago and he was driving south. We normally don't run in the same circles or we don't ever cross paths unless it's some sort of function in town. Maybe I'll run into him again at another local function or at one of the restaurants.

After attending the beer festival, I can honestly say that whenever I feel in the mood to drink another alcoholic beverage, my drinks of choice will either be water, wine or a mixed beverage--preferably with vodka! ;-)

Sad day :-(

Last night as I was getting ready to go to bed, I started crying again. I knew something was wrong with my 51-year-old cousin "T," who had been suffering with liver cancer for about a year or less. I had spoken to my mom about my cousin and she said that she had spoken with "T's" older sister, who said that "T" was saying her good-byes to her closest family members and was talking about her deceased mother and deceased younger brother. "T's" older sister took that as a sign that her life was coming to an end.

I didn't have class today, but I was scheduled to go to school to meet with my math tutor for the first time. I got up early so that I could get a good parking spot at school. I was in the library waiting to meet with my tutor when I saw that I missed a call from one of my younger cousins, "A." I tried calling her back and when she didn't answer, I left her a voicemail letting her know that I'm pretty sure I knew what her call was about. I then texted her. About an hour or so later, "A" confirmed my assumption: her great-aunt "T," my (1st) cousin, passed away this morning.

I'm still numb at the fact that within a year's time, I've lost a 3rd family member. :-( I'm also saddened that this is the 4th relative of mine to be stricken with cancer; of those 4, only 1 has survived. At this point in my life, I don't ever want to say or hear the word "cancer" ever again!

A word of advice: don't ever take your health for granted. If you're feeling symptoms or noticing something different concerning your health, make an appointment with your doctor and have yourself checked immediately...before it's too late.

Back to School...and some prayers needed

This week I started back at school again. I'm taking two classes this semester, except the second one is a short-term course and doesn't begin until October, where as the other class I'm taking currently is math, aka Statistics, aka my "enemy."

Recently, a few people had asked me what class I was going to be taking in the fall and I mentioned the Statistics class. The comments I got were not at all comforting. Some told me that it was a hard class, while others said that they wished they would've taken another class. Last Thursday, I had a one-on-one conversation with my instructor and told him that since junior high, math has never been my best subject. He did tell me that this class is a lot different than the Algebra class I took with him two semesters ago. I'm just praying that I pass it because it's the last class I need to take so that I can transfer next fall.

This semester, I intend to get one-on-one tutoring (again) and will be doing drop-in tutoring whenever I need help. I just finished the first two homework assignments earlier this week and I didn't find them to be too hard. However, I know I need to work on memorizing the vocabulary in my book. I'm crossing my fingers and intending that everything goes well.

In other news, today I found out that my cousin "T," who's 50, is not doing so well. My mother had a conversation with her older brother today and he told my mother that his sister has liver cancer. We knew she was sick with cancer, but we didn't know to what extent. Her brother said that her cancer is advanced and is currently seeking another opinion, in San Diego. She lives about two hours northeast from San Diego and the doctors there don't seem to be doing much for her in her hometown. Then again, it seems that there's not much more they can do on their end since her cancer is so advanced. :(

I'm still holding out and praying that my cousin gets well. However, I'm just dreading the day when my mom gets THE call from one of her nieces or nephews telling her that my cousin didn't survive. My family has already gone through two deaths within the last year and I'm not sure how much more we can take.

Life isn't fair, especially when you have a loved one who is ill and there's nothing you can do about it. Word of advice: get yourself tested when you're supposed to and/or seek out the proper medical attention before it's too late and spend as much time as you can with your family before it's too late.