What's wrong with me?

I can totally kick myself for what didn't happen yesterday.

I had to run an errand at Banana Republic yesterday because I needed to return an item I didn't want anymore. So I get in line & wait patiently while the guy in front of me is being helped by the young cashier. I didn't notice this guy at first, but after a few seconds I glance over at him and say to myself, "Hey, he's kind of cute." Actually, I thought he resembled this guy I once had a crush on when I was 16 or 17 years old. My first instinct was to check his left hand to see if he was wearing a wedding ring. I know, I know. Some guys don't wear a ring, but for me, this is one of the first things I have to look for when I see a cutie. I definitely don't want a married man!

So now I'm feeling awkward. I don't know what to do. I look towards the door & around the entire store. I don't want to seem obvious that I'm trying to check him out. So as I'm looking around, I notice he's looking towards me! I think he's checking me out! Well, actually I think he was looking at my shoes. I was wearing running shoes when I really should've been wearing my girly shoes...my cute, comfy sandals. Oh, and I hate to admit this, but I wasn't looking my best. I was wearing jeans, a collared shirt/blouse & my sweater over my shirt. Plus, the only make-up I was wearing was foundation. :(

Ok, but the worst part is that [this is where I can kick myself for this] I did NOT make any eye contact with him nor did I say hello. All I can remember was that he was 30ish, about 5'9", and he was wearing a dark t-shirt, jeans, and work boots. At one point, I noticed the store's young, assistant manager was helping him select a piece of clothing to exchange for what he had returned. Hmm...I think this totally screams that he's either single or he just doesn't know how to dress. I'm just so mad at myself because I know I'll probably never see this guy again & didn't make any effort to start a conversation.

I wish I could say that I'm going back to the Banana store, but it's sort of out of my way. I'm tempted to post one of those "missed connections" thingy on Craigslist, but I don't want some wacko (ok, hopefully this cutie isn't one) to find and respond to it.

Why do I have such a hard time talking to guys? I didn't have this problem of awkwardness last October when I smiled & made eye contact with Mr. Cutie at Office Depot. Am I hopeless?

I think I'll be making this as one of my goals on my vision board.

100 Things About Me

This was a lot harder than I thought. Btw, you might find a reoccuring theme in my responses. :)

1) I'm the youngest of 3 children (1 sister & 1 brother).
2) I prefer writing in cursive. I'm too lazy to print or write free hand.
3) I used to take swimming lessons as a kid, but then stopped when I almost drowned. A few years later, I tried taking lessons again, but never finished.
4) I'm constantly changing the radio station in my car when I feel there's a lousy song playing.
5) I have 26 first cousins (had 28, but 2 are deceased now), approx. 48 second cousins & lost count with my second cousins' children! I think that brings a total of about 100 cousins. And that's only my mother's side! ;)
6) I'm pretty organized at work, but at home, it's usually a different story.
7) I'm NOT a morning person.
8) I don't drink coffee.
9) I only drink tea when I'm sick.
10) My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. Not only does it fall around my b-day (except for on Leap year), but it's a day to give thanks for my family & my other blessings, and an excuse to eat lots of food & pumpkin pie!
11) I've never been a sports fan. Ok, so maybe I've seen 1 or 2 basketball games in my life.
12) I've known my two bestest gal pals since the 3rd grade & the 10th grade.
13) I once won 2nd place in an art contest.
14) I've never stopped watching MTV's The Real World. Ok, so maybe I missed one season, but it was probably because the cast was pretty boring.
15) I remember when MTV used to be cool and played music all day long.
16) The first thing I notice about the opposite sex is his eyes.
17) My first job was at age 15 at a pharmacy, which happened to be the same one my sister worked at years prior. I've had many more jobs after that.
18) I have a scar on the side of my nose. It's from an injury I suffered when I was about 1 or 2 years old.
19) Right after graduating high school, I had aspirations of moving to L.A. to attend college.
20) I love Chocolate Almond ice-cream.
21) I often find myself attracted to tall guys, which means they have to be over 5'10".
22) I know how to rollerskate, but not rollerblade.
23) At age 13, I shook a former (70's) teen idol's (and one of my first childhood crushes) hand when I saw him in concert. I literally didn't wash my hand for a few days after that.
24) I was held back in the 3rd grade.
25) Writing is one of my passions & I hope it'll help lead me into a career in the music, TV, or travel industry.
26) I want to visit Boston, Miami/Orlando, and the lower Atlantic states.
27) I dropped out of college twice.
28) My favorite color is blue.
29) I was an attendant in a cousin's wedding; however, my title was not Bridesmaid, but rather Godmother.
30) I had a pen pal from Spain, who I started writing to in the 10th grade. We wrote often, but then she stopped writing around the time that 9/11 happened.
31) My favorite music genre is Pop. I also love R&B, Dance & Motown.
32) Growing up, I inherited my siblings taste in music. I guess that's why I liked listening to a lot of popular groups that consisted of siblings like the Bee Gees, The Carpenters, and The Osmonds!
33) I've dealt with anxiety since I was a child.
34) I've never liked being photographed. I'd rather be taking the photo than be in it.
35) In high school, I had a crush on three different Michael's--all at the same time.
36) I've never had a hangover.
37) I love traveling to So Cal to visit my relatives.
38) Tulips are my favorite flower.
39) As a teen, I wore braces. Thank goodness because it corrected my Bugs Bunny smile.
40) I've never gotten a speeding ticket.
41) I've never traveled on a train before.
42) I'm not afraid of heights, but I refuse to go on any amusement park ride that travels upside-down.
43) I'm a very sensitive & emotional person. If I hear a story about a child being reunited with his/her parent or vice versa, I start to cry.
44) Politics really bores me.
45) I dress to be comfortable, not uncomfortable. Though I can be a girly girl when I want to be.
46) I don't like wearing high heels.
47) I've been to Chicago once, Arizona twice, and Baja (Mexico) many times.
48) I don't paint my fingernails or toenails anymore.
49) I'm very low-maintenance (see # 45).
50) I'm generally good at remembering a person's b-day or other special events.
51) I once won backstage passes to a concert. Unfortunately, the concert never happened. Anyone remember the songs "P.A.S.S.I.O.N." or "Hey Donna"?
52) I always have a hard time finding the right pair of jeans since I'm height-challenged.
53) My favorite old TV shows are ones that incorporated music and humor.
54) Some of my favorite shows were The Monkees (re-runs), Donny & Marie, Three's Company and Happy Days. Yes, I had a crush on "Chachi". I even owned the only album he ever recorded as proof!
55) I'm never been much of a risk taker. It wasn't until a few years ago that I started getting brave & started doing stuff that I thought I'd never do.
56) I have eaten Menudo (no, not the singing group) many, many times.
57) I don't travel to the city very often.
58) My feelings get hurt when certain longtime friends don't have or make time for me. I know you're busy, but communication is a two-way street.
59) I once wrote a fan letter to Ricky Schroeder & got an autographed picture in return.
60) I have a purse named after me. Wish I knew who to thank.
61) I can't live without music!
62) I'm a lexophile.
63) I once attended a Giants game only to see my favorite (oldies) band perform. As soon as the concert was over, I left.
64) One of my favorite games in elementary school was "Heads Up, Seven Up."
65) I believe in love at first sight & that each of us has a soulmate. So then how come I can't seem to find mine?! :(
66) I believe in Karma & it can be a real bitch!
67) If I was stuck on a deserted island, the 3 items I'd bring with me would be: Toffee candy, toilet paper, and my crush.
68) My life resembles a few movies: Fools Rush In, Never Been Kissed, and The Famiy Stone. I also think My Big Fat Greek Wedding plays a part too!
69) One of my favorite quotes is by Eleanor Roosevelt: "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
70) I cried on my 19th birthday & I think it was because I foresaw my future.
71) As a child, I was forced to play kickball & softball every summer until I was about 14.
72) I can wrap my middle & ring fingers around my entire wrist.
73) I had an 11th year high school reunion. My class wasn't very organized, even back then. Wonder if we'll have a 21st reunion.
74) I used to write many letters as a kid. I should've known back then that it'd lead to my future career.
75) Since the invention of e-mail and texting, I rarely communicate on the phone. :(
76) A good childhood friend of mine, who had moved away & then returned a few years later, once told me something I'll never forget. She told me that I never changed & that I was the same person she knew back then. She had compared me to my cousin (we were all friends in grade school), who did change. Made me feel really good...humble.
77) I sometimes prefer staying home as opposed to going to a party.
78) I'm down-to-earth & very shy. Once I get to know you better, then I tend to come out of my shell more.
79) I hate Mondays.
80) I can't stand Rap music. What's the point?
81) I try to read my favorite blogs every single day.
82) Chinese & Mexican foods are my favorite.
83) I met 3 former Boy Band members from 3 different groups at the same event.
84) I will finally meet my crush of 20 years in October! (see # 87)
85) I never attended my junior or senior proms. For senior prom, my friend & I went to dinner and a movie instead.
86) I once stood next to a Daytime Emmy award winner & didn't even know it. I just couldn't put my finger on why he looked so familiar.
87) Twenty years ago, my cousins invited me to see this up-n-coming new group perform nearby to promote their 2nd album. My cousins' mother wouldn't let them borrow her car, so we couldn't go. The group became successful shortly thereafter (see # 84).
88) I'd like to move to So Cal and pursue my career the first opportunity I get.
89) When I worked in retail, I once assisted the guitarist of a famous 70's rock group.
90) I've never smoked cigarettes.
91) I once found myself in the same movie theater hallway as football legend Joe Montana. In fact, I also once saw him walking down a major street in my town.
92) I had my first article published in May of this year.
93) I almost had the chance to meet two members of a famous 60's band that I loved as a child, but was too shy to say hello or ask for an autograph. I regret this one big time. :(
94) I've always excelled in English. I was also particularly fond of Art & History.
95) My favorite foods are lasagne, flautas, french fries, and Heavenly chicken.
96) I hate being alone. Usually I'll have the TV on to keep me company.
97) I love to laugh!
98) I've never been good at Math (i.e. Algebra & Geometry). I'm not fond of Science either.
99) I've always wanted to learn how to play the drums & keyboards/piano. My inspiration: # 93.
100) A guy with hazel eyes and a Bostonian accent makes my heart do somersaults! Second runner up is a guy with green eyes, who can speak French fluently! :)

Updates

Sorry I haven't blogged for some time, but I've been a bit busy. However, now I have time to let y'all know what's been happening in my little world. This update is for my one-and-only fan (you know who you are), who was going through withdrawls from me not blogging! :)

Not much to report this summer. I signed up to take a Speech class, but then dropped it since I wasn't feeling it and couldn't keep up. I will attempt to take it again in the future. If what the career tests say is true, I should be able to pass this class with "flying colors."

In career news, for the past few months, I've been working on another story with the hope of getting it published. Unfortunately, I haven't had any takers. I e-mailed the ET Editor at the Sacramento Bee to which she replied that she didn't have "any $$ in her budget for freelance writers." So then I moved on to a major Bay Area newspaper's A&E Editor, to which I have yet to receive a reply from. I thought not hearing back right away was a clue that it might be a story they're looking for. Well, I have a feeling that this editor isn't even considering it. Should I follow-up with a call since his work number was published on their web site? As you can probably guess, I'm not too fond of the Bay Area media right now. Arghhhh!

In music news, one of my new friends, who I'm attending the NKOTB show with in San Jose in 3 months, called me recently to tell me that a Sacramento show was added! I had a feeling (yep, thank goodness for my intuition kicking in) they'd do this, but just didn't know when. At the last minute, I told my friend I didn't think I could afford to go since I'm already going to the SJ & San Diego shows. Well, she coaxed me into going & offered to pay for the ticket. I'm definitely paying her back though.

My friends & I are counting the days until the Sac show, which is The Block's (the group's new nickname & the name of their new album) first Nor Cal performance in 14 years. Actually, the big day will be the following day, when we get to meet the guys in San Jose!! According to the site that's providing the VIP tixs, they haven't sold-out. This could mean that my gal pals & I could possibly have more time talking with the guys. Ok, so we have to share them with a few other strangers, but hopefully it isn't more than 30! Hey, this also means that maybe I'll have more time to chat with my crush! Incidentally, I was talking to a friend about this crush when I jokingly said, "He must have a halo hovering over his head because he's definitely an angel in my book!" Yes, I think I may have just created a new pick-up line! My friend thinks I should totally use it on him because he'd probably get a laugh out of it! ;)

In relationship news, my dating life still sucks. I'm not really putting in any effort right now at finding my soulmate. I'm leaving it up to a higher power (Are you listening God?) to help me. With that said, I will continue to live by the following mottos: "If it's meant to happen, it will" or "Good things come to those who wait."

Speaking of things I desire in my life, I got inspired to make a vision board after having watched The Secret last year. Also, I've seen a few different Oprah segments on how the Laws of Attraction work and how it has changed peoples lives after having made their own board. I immediately began brainstorming and wrote down some things I thought I was lacking or missing in my life; however, I also wrote down what I have to be thankful for. The next step was to find some pics I had and to search for more. All I have left to do now is to paste these pics on my board and write some inspiring words around them. Once my board is complete, I'll try posting a pic of it here.

And last, but not least, thanks go George Dub-ya, we're in a recession. With that said, I hate my job! Back in January, the same week I started school, I was let go from my job of 1-1/2 years due to budget cuts. I was in shock when I got the news because I wasn't expecting it. So I waited a bit until the school semester ended and then submited my resume to a few different organizations. Alas, no one was hiring. In the back of my mind, I told myself that I didn't want to take a job at school until I was desperate. One major reason behind this is because they pay s***!! Unfortunately, I can't afford to live off of what they pay. Well, I did what I said I wasn't going to do and got hired. The way things were handled the first week I started I would never wish on anyone.

Needless to say, I will continue applying for other jobs because I really need to make more $$ to pay the bills and I need to be challenged. It's times like these when I wish I was in business for myself.

Flakey People

Have you ever counted on someone to keep his/her word and then when he/she doesn't, you get extremely annoyed and frustrated, and wonder why did I bother in the first place? This happened to me on Wednesday.

On Tuesday, as I was walking towards my neighbor's house, I saw her walking in to her house. I've known her for about 27 years & have always considered her like a second mother. I was on my way to go for a walk when I asked if she wanted to join me. After a few minutes, she said yes and I waited for her to get ready. We proceeded going on our 30 minute walk and talked about what each of us has been doing lately. On our way back home, the neighbors across the street saw us and struck up a conversation with us. They commented on how walking was good exercise. Then I hear my second mom say that we were planning on going for another walk tomorrow. As I left her house, we briefly discussed our plans and I left to go home.

So it's about 7:00 pm on Wednesday and I call her home, and her hubby answers the phone. He explains that she isn't home yet, but that he was going to try her on her cell. After a few bad connections, he finally got a hold of her. He asked where she was & she stated that she was getting her nails done. I thanked her husband for having made the call and hung up the phone.

I just felt really disappointed with my neighbor. I was taking her word that we had made plans. But then she doesn't have the courtesy to call to say she couldn't go after all. I just don't get it. I can understand if she forgot, but I just didn't like how she left me just hanging. I'm not very fond of people who suddenly flake out on their friends.

Sometimes I am better off just doing things by myself. I'm not going to let these types of situations happen to me again.

Happy 4th of July

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy 4th of July! Enjoy this time with your family and friends. As for me, I may skip the festivities this year and just watch it from my house. Then again, I might go for a walk since the fireworks show is so close by to where I live.

Oh yeah, and I wanted to wish a Happy B-day to my niece/Goddaughter (Angela), who turns 23 on July 3rd! She gets to spend her b-day week in one of my favorite cities, San Diego. :)

The Perfect Guy

Ok, I just have to give props to the woman who created this YouTube video of my crush...oops, I meant our crush, Jonathan Knight. Pay attention to the song on the video. Does it sound familiar?! ;)

Btw, Mr. Knight really isn't the perfect guy, but he is perfect for me! lol