Sign on the dotted line

I just received the contract for my article. I thought I'd be receiving this 20 page document to sign when in fact it was just a simple letter stating the obvious. I'm supposed to be receiving payment within two months after the manuscript deadline. YEAH because I can really use the $$! I think someone needs to pinch me because I still can't believe this is really happening! I just have to remind myself that I am a new writer, who is just getting started and who still has a lot to learn about writing! Though, never in a million years would I have thought that a magazine would want to publish my article! I'm practicing my autograph just in case anyone wants one!

On Wednesday, I spent my entire lunch with a nice, "older" gentleman. No, it wasn't my crush, but it was with a tutor at my school, who patiently helped me with my annoying and neverending Math homework. I really and truly wanted to attend the Chamber of Commerce luncheon where "Mr. Cutie" (or "QT") was going to be recognized at as one of the new BOD (Board of Directors), but it just didn't happen. I'm hopeful that there will be another opportunity to run into him soon.

Speaking of opportunities, I guess I spoke too soon! I just read in my local newspaper that there's going to be a benefit concert at "Mr. Cutie's" POB (place of business) next weekend! A former alum of my high school, who has made a name for himself in the folk music world, will be performing. He's trying to raise $$ for the purchase of solar panels, a battery and inverter that he'll be delivering to a village in West Africa next month. Ultimately, he'd like to set up a non-profit music school there. Coincidentally, I saw this musician and former resident just before Xmas, at Longs. I looked up and found myself making eye contact with this former h.s. alum, from afar. He saw me and probably thought, "She looks familiar." Did I mention that his father is my doctor? Yes, it's a small world! Anyway, I wish I would've said something to him, but I didn't. Maybe he could've introduced me to "Mr. Cutie"! My strategic plan is to call up my friend, who was this musician's classmate, and see if she wants to go with me. If she can't go, I think I can try coaxing my other friend. ;) The event is FREE!

A good friend of mine sent me the following e-mail. Too funny!

HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his
work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller, who escaped from prison, was a small medium at large.

A thief, who stole a calendar got, 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.