Late last week, I was at the mall running an errand. I had about 2 1/2 hours to kill before I had to return to campus, so I sat in my car. As I waited, I saw this fairly young woman (in her early 30's) taking a stroller out of her car. She had what looked like her 4-5 month old daughter with her. She paid precise caution to assembling the stroller and then placing her child in it. Just one vehicle away from her, I noticed her struggle a little bit, but at the same time she kept her cool and what I saw was this nurturing mother.
After observing this woman with her baby, I began to ask myself, "Will I ever get to a point in my life where I'll become a mother?" I'll be honest. I've always told my mother that she may not be getting anymore grandchildren on top of the 3 she already has. A part of me believed that maybe it wasn't "in the cards" for me to become a mother. The other part of me believed that I would find "Mr. Right", get married, and possibly have children and we'd bring them up in this "crazy" world together.
My thoughts bring me back to the last time I visited my family in So Cal. I was holding my (second) cousin's 8 month old daughter and enjoyed playing with her and touching her chubby, little arms and cheeks. But then I started thinking about her future. What is she going to be like when she becomes a teenager? Will she start rebelling because of peer pressure or will she be this studious adolescent who listens to her parents? I know that having children is a BIG responsibility and it's very hard work, but I do hear that the rewards are great.
Yesterday, I happened to be in the art supply aisle at Wal-Mart when I heard this familiar voice. It was my ex co-worker, Mari, who I hadn't seen since April. We were chatting away and as I asked her 7 year old daughter a question, Mari's 7 month old son just kept staring at me. I started making faces at him & went right for touching his cheeks! He would just smile and wouldn't give up staring at me. I told her that I wish I had the same "animal" magnetism on older guys as I did with the younger ones! ;)
So with all these babies that have crossed my path lately, is this some sort of sign? Is my biological ticking? It's hard to say. I know that God has a plan for everyone and if I'm meant to be a wife and mother, then so be it. Otherwise, I'll continue living as a content, single woman.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Pondering thoughts about the future
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2 comments:
That's funny you posted that (I swear somedays I think we share a brain)
I've been thinking about the whole "will I ever get married and have kids" idea lately a lot too. Not so much that I'm dying to have children, but sometimes I think "I would be a great mom - so why is that not in my cards? Is there another reason for it?" As much as I talk about not being a "kids person", the fact remains that I know I am (like you seem to be) good with them. I know I would take really good care of my own. And I wonder what my kids would be like.
I just know I don't want to have them on my own - which brings into play Mr. Right. Will he ever come into play for us?!?! *sigh* (Although, your Mr. Knight, I mean Right, may be here soon!) wink, wink
If not, let's both retire to Florida someday, and be like the Golden Girls.
With the topic of babies then comes the topic of marriage. I would love to get married someday & have something similar to what my parents have (they're celebrating 49 years this year), but then I start thinking if my "soulmate" will be marriage-minded too or is he a cynic about it because of his upbringing? Ok, I've really got to stop overanalyzing everything!
Sure, I'll retire to Florida with you. I'm sure by that time I'll finally get my chance at meeting Mr. Right! lol ;)
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